This essay just made my day… actually, my week, month, or maybe even my year! (No l, I didn’t steal that from Friends—kidding.) But seriously, it felt like listening to another version of myself.
For starters, I’ve recently discovered the joys of gummy-induced epiphanies, and I know that exact feeling of, “This is so obvious—how did I never think of this before?” I’m also a big fan of “numbing out.” With everything going on in the world, that kind of escape is a necessity for me.
I have a weird relationship with social media. I tend to stay quiet when other moms talk about limiting their kids’ screen time. That’s never been a rule in our house. Sometimes, I need them to have screen time just as much as they do (if not more) so that I can finish a book or get anything done. I know it might sound like shitty parenting, but I have incredibly persuasive children. Even if I had drawn that line, I’d cave the moment they started whining about being bored. And honestly, I think that might be worse… teaching them that whining gets their way. Right or wrong, that’s how I justify it to myself.
I actually quit social media years ago, during quarantine. I also want to feel liked and loved (who doesn’t?), but I’ve realized I don’t need it. Between the constant comparisons, the envy, the emptiness, and the slow, painful death by right-wing propaganda, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t delete my accounts completely. My out-of-town family still uses them to plan reunions or share updates… but other than logging in for that, or when my children want to show me something or add a friend on Messenger Kids, the apps remain largely unopened.
I’m not a professional writer. I dropped out of college before my now-24-year-old son was born. I meant to go back, but life kept getting in the way. When I was younger, I was often told that I was a good writer and should pursue it, but I (somewhat defiantly) chose to study art instead. I’ve always loved reading, but when I quit social media during the pandemic, I started devouring books like my life depended on it. Eventually, I began to wonder if writing could be more than a hobby. I know it’s not something you can just make happen, especially without credentials. I’ve thought about self publishing but as an unknown author, who knows how many people would read it. I’m not even sure my writing qualifies as “good” by any standard but I want to do it anyway… I’m up for the challenge. Aside from AP English and a couple of creative writing classes nearly 30 years ago, I have no formal training. So I’d probably need to spend a small fortune on editing.
I want to write a memoir about the trauma I’ve survived, but not while my mother is still alive. I’ve also started two novels, one of which I’ve poured serious time and effort into. So your thoughts on publishing and building an audience really hit home. Not going to lie… I died a little bit inside when you said that quitting social media isn’t an option if you’re trying to grow a following.
I was elated when I found Substack. It felt like everything I loved about social media, minus the toxicity. I started my newsletter this past November, and I just reached 1,000 subscribers. That might not sound like much, but to me, it’s huge. Especially considering I’m juggling three jobs, raising two kids, and helping put my other two through college and grad school. Finding time is HARD. But I’m committed. I was really hoping that this platform would be enough kickstart my dream into reality, though I’ve had a nagging suspicion that it wouldn’t be enough, long before reading this post.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for writing something that made me feel a little less alone in this whole messy pursuit of creative expression.
Thank you so much for this, Tirzah! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I've been dissociating for about 9 years at this point. But I'm so glad my writing made you feel seen, or gave you some comfort. Don't worry about social media followers, just write what you need to write and the followers will come. Or not, and who cares? I deeply believe that when we write for ourselves instead of for other people (which being popular/paid can get in the way of, luckily I am neither at the moment), we get at the truth a lot faster. That said, I haven't written a Substack in 6 months so take my advice with a very hypocritical grain of salt.
Hi Una!
This essay just made my day… actually, my week, month, or maybe even my year! (No l, I didn’t steal that from Friends—kidding.) But seriously, it felt like listening to another version of myself.
For starters, I’ve recently discovered the joys of gummy-induced epiphanies, and I know that exact feeling of, “This is so obvious—how did I never think of this before?” I’m also a big fan of “numbing out.” With everything going on in the world, that kind of escape is a necessity for me.
I have a weird relationship with social media. I tend to stay quiet when other moms talk about limiting their kids’ screen time. That’s never been a rule in our house. Sometimes, I need them to have screen time just as much as they do (if not more) so that I can finish a book or get anything done. I know it might sound like shitty parenting, but I have incredibly persuasive children. Even if I had drawn that line, I’d cave the moment they started whining about being bored. And honestly, I think that might be worse… teaching them that whining gets their way. Right or wrong, that’s how I justify it to myself.
I actually quit social media years ago, during quarantine. I also want to feel liked and loved (who doesn’t?), but I’ve realized I don’t need it. Between the constant comparisons, the envy, the emptiness, and the slow, painful death by right-wing propaganda, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t delete my accounts completely. My out-of-town family still uses them to plan reunions or share updates… but other than logging in for that, or when my children want to show me something or add a friend on Messenger Kids, the apps remain largely unopened.
I’m not a professional writer. I dropped out of college before my now-24-year-old son was born. I meant to go back, but life kept getting in the way. When I was younger, I was often told that I was a good writer and should pursue it, but I (somewhat defiantly) chose to study art instead. I’ve always loved reading, but when I quit social media during the pandemic, I started devouring books like my life depended on it. Eventually, I began to wonder if writing could be more than a hobby. I know it’s not something you can just make happen, especially without credentials. I’ve thought about self publishing but as an unknown author, who knows how many people would read it. I’m not even sure my writing qualifies as “good” by any standard but I want to do it anyway… I’m up for the challenge. Aside from AP English and a couple of creative writing classes nearly 30 years ago, I have no formal training. So I’d probably need to spend a small fortune on editing.
I want to write a memoir about the trauma I’ve survived, but not while my mother is still alive. I’ve also started two novels, one of which I’ve poured serious time and effort into. So your thoughts on publishing and building an audience really hit home. Not going to lie… I died a little bit inside when you said that quitting social media isn’t an option if you’re trying to grow a following.
I was elated when I found Substack. It felt like everything I loved about social media, minus the toxicity. I started my newsletter this past November, and I just reached 1,000 subscribers. That might not sound like much, but to me, it’s huge. Especially considering I’m juggling three jobs, raising two kids, and helping put my other two through college and grad school. Finding time is HARD. But I’m committed. I was really hoping that this platform would be enough kickstart my dream into reality, though I’ve had a nagging suspicion that it wouldn’t be enough, long before reading this post.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for writing something that made me feel a little less alone in this whole messy pursuit of creative expression.
I’m looking forward to reading more from you!
🩷Tirzah
Thank you so much for this, Tirzah! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I've been dissociating for about 9 years at this point. But I'm so glad my writing made you feel seen, or gave you some comfort. Don't worry about social media followers, just write what you need to write and the followers will come. Or not, and who cares? I deeply believe that when we write for ourselves instead of for other people (which being popular/paid can get in the way of, luckily I am neither at the moment), we get at the truth a lot faster. That said, I haven't written a Substack in 6 months so take my advice with a very hypocritical grain of salt.